You Thought Male Sexuality Was Only About A Great Ejaculation?

by | Apr 13, 2010 | Sexual Growth

Guys are surprised to learn that male sexuality isn’t really only about ejaculations, though most of us feel most sexual when we’re aroused and come. Our sexuality is most powerfully and profoundly projected through our relationships — with ourselves, with our lovers and with God as we understand.

If you think that male sexuality is only about the physical sensation of orgasm and ejaculation — think again. Do you remember the weird feelings you had when you first became aware of your male sexuality? Most guys have a storm of emotions when they first learn of their sexual side: thrill, curiosity, anticipation, pride, confusion, guilt, fear and even depression. The storm only abates from time to time returning in different ways throughout life.

So what? If male sexuality is accompanied by all of these wildly thrilling and sometimes absolutely frustrating emotions, it must follow that the purpose of our sexuality goes much deeper than just reproduction, a wild orgasm and satisfying ejaculation. Definitely deeper.

Male Sexuality and Ejaculation — It’s Not Just an Orgasm Any More

The emotions which accompany male sexual thoughts, habits and activities are a clue that a guy’s sexuality is a huge part of relationship, not just an add-on. So all the physical pleasure that comes with sexuality isn’t the end or even the beginning; it’s all part of the romance in the three most important relationships of our lives: relationship with one’s self, one’s wife and God.

Romancing the Stone — That’d Be You!

There’s a novel idea — a relationship with yourself! It’s not so far out when you give it two minutes of thought. Consider this: Are you ever frustrated with yourself? Proud of yourself? Admire yourself? Reward yourself? These are all clues that we really do have a relationship with ourselves. A man’s physique and emotional sexual tendencies lend themselves to a really lively sexual relationship with himself whether he’s young, old, single or married.

Historically, society frowned on this idea and went to great effort to suppress a man’s sexuality resulting in enormous guilt, but fortunately people are beginning to understand that a man who acknowledges his sexuality and is matter-of-fact about it, whether single or married, is healthier emotionally and physically, has a better self-image, and when married, is more confident and secure in his marriage.

What guy doesn’t check out his physique in the mirror, stand astounded at the sight of his erection or treat himself to some time alone to masturbate? Guys are incredibly designed for solo sex–very convenient, very neat. Sure, some guys don’t, but then they’re not likely reading this and they’re not much interested in growing more confident in themselves and becoming sexually fulfilled.

Any teenager will tell you he has a relationship with his penis. He tries to get it to cooperate, but it seldom does. It grows hard at the craziest times. But live a few years and you find that this relationship is more than one with uncooperative genitals; it’s all tied up in self-acceptance and becoming a full, integrated person. The guy who doesn’t live in a sexual relationship with himself, has allowed part of his manhood to grow dormant and has abandoned the first relationship of his male sexuality.

Romancing Your Lover — Male Sexuality is the Key!

Is male sexuality in marriage just for fun and babies? Or to meet one-another’s “needs”? Sure, needs, fun and babies happen, but a man’s sexuality is more importantly the key that opens the door to becoming intimately “one” in a marriage relationship.

Once again, our society with noble humility has told us that sexuality is not what marriage is about but is a really nice added bonus and we should use it to keep the fires of romance burning. Male sexuality is designed for the marriage relationship — it is not an add-on; it’s the main thing. It’s the starting point, the middle and the end. If there’s no sexual relationship, there’s no union for the marriage to revolve around.

While men were physically well-designed for solo sex, they were beautifully designed for marital sex — not only physically to be the one who gives, loves, and protects, but also emotionally to embrace, accept and become “one” in a lifelong intimate relationship. A man’s sexuality in marriage leaves him vulnerable and thereby honest showing that his love is genuine, sincere and committed. “Lights-on” sex is always more believable.

Guys shouldn’t be shy sexually, but graciously assertive. Guys shouldn’t be dominating sexually, but gently leading. Guys shouldn’t be selfish sexually, but consistently generous. Guys shouldn’t be lazy sexually, but lavishly creative. Guys shouldn’t be timid sexually, but wildly adventurous.

Can You Think Of 101 Ways?

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Romanced by the Divine — Male Sexuality and the Creator

Some have a difficult time managing both sexuality and God in the same thought much less grappling with the idea that God has thought up the whole concept of sexual emotions, drives, genitalia and the like.

What’s an even more wild thought is that God created our sexuality so that we would better understand our relationship with Him. It’s not a crazy idea because if you read enough of the Bible, you see so many comparisons between God’s relationship with people and the intimate, sexual relationship between a man and wife. He put the thrilling pleasure, mind bending complexity and naked intimacy of male sexuality into each of us so that we would understand how crazy in love He is with us.

Read the Bible, you’ll understand. Look around you and try to push out of your mind all of the junk you’ve been told about sex. It’s a pretty amazing feeling of security and acceptance when you can really bask in your sexuality with God, with yourself and if you’re married, with your lover.

Our sexuality wasn’t just an add-on to a baby-making feature. No, we’re sexual in order to enliven us in the relationships most important in our lives–the relationships where we can be who we really are without pretense, fear or shame–with ourselves, with our lover and with God.

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