Joycelyn knew it was more than a nasty vice of teenage boys or an unfortunate alternative to real sex. No, Bill Clinton fired Attorney General Joycelyn Elders in 1994 following her suggestion that masturbation should be taught as a natural component of sexual behavior. Clinton knew that his progressive attorney general was way ahead of her time making an assertion that sexually squeamish Americans could not yet tolerate. Since 1995 we mark that decision during the month of May and more specifically celebrate National Masturbation Day on May 28th, the day of Joycelyn Elder’s termination.
National Masturbation Day As Social Healing
This year, without exception, every person on earth must find ways to process a global crisis and all of the unfamiliar energies that crisis presents. I am repeatedly moving through all of the stages in grief — not necessarily in the proper order. I find myself inexplicably unable to think or focus much less act. Then a flood of energy befalls me that I struggle to channel.
And that is what is at issue with all of this — energy. Elders knew that. Clinton knew that. Americans don’t buy it. Yet, regardless, those energies exist and we’re all in this together.
Masturbation Is An All-In-One Energy-Processing Activity
You know this because you’ve done it. You masturbate to de-stress. You masturbate to celebrate. You masturbate when lost in thought. You masturbate when you’re really sad. You masturbate when you’re really angry.
Today … yes, today on National Masturbation Day. Masturbate. But masturbate mindfully with the following as part of your intention. In this way, we collectively pool our energies wherever you are in the world, whatever your language, orientation or gender. We’re moving stuck energy.
This morning I joined a weekly pandemic support group on Zoom. We talked of ways that we move energy and three things presented.
It was brilliant because all three move energy and all three are present in a fully-developed masturbation practice. I’ll say a few words about each.
Pleasure is everyone’s human right. It’s a birthright. The body, mind, and emotion have a complex ability to experience and use pleasure to maintain a healthy, vital and rewarding existence. Pain is the other side of pleasure and is not necessarily to be avoided. Just like pleasure, pain also provides warnings and boundaries for us but also meaning never explained in words. Pleasure and pain are sometimes indistinguishable.
Masturbation that is given enough space and time in your life will have sufficient capacity for pleasure and pain to move whatever energy you need to move for whatever reason. Masturbation can help you process your grief, frustration, or angst. Masturbation can process your celebration, whimsy, play, and boredom.
As you masturbate today, notice how your pleasure or pain plays in your masturbation practice. And then note that millions are processing their pleasure also alone yet right along with you.
I am not a fan of sinks, toilets, or sometimes even beds when it comes to masturbation. They all call on us to inhibit movement. In sexual arousal, we need to move the body to let sexual energy find its natural course through the body.
Have you ever seen a garden hose with too much pressure get away and whip around? Think of energy in your body in this way. You need to move to dislodge energy in you. Once you do, your orgasmic sensation will change noticeably. You’ll notice sensations move to the extremities of your body.
Here are a few ways you break yourself loose:
- Get off the bed, out of the chair and away from your computer or phone
- Absolutely, positively masturbate without porn. Save porn for later.
- Masturbate and dance
- Masturbate during your solo yoga practice
- Masturbate in front of a mirror and move
- Masturbate and laugh!
- Get on your bed but don’t lay on your back
- Play some music and move to the rhythm of the music
As you masturbate today, imagine how other readers of this article are moving their energy as well. Your imagination might give you a new idea for movement.
Much like pleasure and movement, breath is almost synonymous with energy. Think wind, compressed air, musical wind instruments — all energies. You actually can control and even change the status of your nervous system with your breath.
Try this when you’re anxious. Take a deep and slow breath through your nose. Hold for a second. Let the air out through your nose more slowly than you drew the breath. Do this several times over a couple of minutes and you’ll notice your anxiety decrease markedly. Some people routinely fall asleep this way.
As your masturbation arousal increases, notice how your breath impacts the movement of energy in your body. Generally, fast shallow breathing raises arousal quickly. We call this hot and it can be frustrating especially when you want a pleasure session to last a while.
Slow down your breathing using the long and slow breath I just described and you’ll enjoy a gradual mounting of arousal and movement of stuck energy in your body. Play with different breathing patterns as you masturbate and notice how it impacts your orgasmic sensations.
Another important aspect of breath is your voice. Vocalizing moves enormous amounts of energy. You needn’t say anything unless you want to use some affirmation such as, “I am strong!” It doesn’t matter. The point is to use your voice. Some people incorporate ujjayi breathing, a breathing style used in some yoga practices. Ujjayi is sometimes called “victorious breathing” or “ocean breathing” and is used because it’s both relaxing and energizing. It pairs with masturbation like wine and cheese. You can learn about ujjayi breathing here.
As you masturbate today, be assured that thousands of others who read this same article are breathing with you.
This collective breath, this collective energy can only be for good and unite everyone who shares a generous approach to life. Today, celebrate National Masturbation Day with others this amazing gift to masturbate that we enjoy whenever we want, in any way we want, for any reason we want.
Here’s to your personal pleasure!